Saturday, November 11, 2006

Beginning

We have a beautiful park nearby, Cabin John Regional Park. I love to walk inthe woods, but I must be honest, I am a fraidy cat. I simply cannot relax while walking alone for fear the boogy man will get me. I think it's a city girl thing. Actually I feel more confident and in control on a city street where I can see everything. So I usually disregard the call when the woods beckon. Sad I know. But yesterday it was like spring here - warm, 70's, sun shining, clearest blue of a sky. I dropped my daughter and her friends off at the Mall. The park entrance was just a block away. It beckoned, I went. And I LOVED it. Why? Because there were no leaves on any of the trees and I could see everything. There were no hiding places. I had my cell phone and a clear 360-degree view of all that surrounded me and I felt safe. Less than a mile from the Beltway and the Mall, and I was in the middle of the forest, all alone. And I was safe. It was a much needed respite from the whirlwind of my life.

The forest floor was decorated with leaves in shades from red, to orange to brown. Many were well on their way to drying out and becoming fertilizer for next years growth. I gathered a few of the loveliest and then noticed these small, soft, pale pink ones. Soft, like new growth, yet fallen, like all the others. I like to think that the unseasonably warm weather had fooled them into sprouting and then a cold north wind knocked them off, just so they would land at my feet. They were sent here to remind me that there are always beginnings, even when everything else seems to be coming to an end. And beginnings are fragile, easily disrupted until they take a firm hold in our lives. It takes courage to be a beginner, to walk into the unknown. Yet we begin every day anew. We are all always beginning.
If the angel deigns to come it will be because you have convinced her, not by tears but by your humble resolve to be always beginning; to be a beginner. ~ Rilke

3 comments:

Beate said...

since I have a Dog, I can walk at the woods and feel savley all the time, maybe it is an Idea for You? :-)

annie said...

i love this post...your sentiments are speaking to me this very moment...i felt like i needed to check in with you today...and now i know why...as rilke says "humble resolve" to begin once again...it is an act of humility to start with a clean slate...to say that today...or in this very moment...i choose to start fresh...this speaks to me as a way to forgive...to show empathy...and welcome renewal...xo....annie

Anonymous said...

writing you this comment from a foreign keyboard and missing you, all the way from little old cortona. i love you with all of my american-born heart. ciao.....xo