Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Betwixt & Between

dressed for Renaissance Day at schoolYesterday I took my daughter to buy a bathing suit ~ Memorial Day and the opening of pools everywhere is not that far off. Last year she was into coverage. This was bikini year. Not itsy bitsy, but a bikini nonetheless. As the mother of 4 daughters, I have shopped for many, many bathing suits over the years. I have watched and experienced the self-confidence and modesty issues that surround bathing suits - both theirs and mine.

I was surprised by the fact that she did not appear at all uncomfortable wearing a bikini. While I had the typical mother reaction of "too-much-skin," I was at the same time proud that she feels confident and secure about her body. With the pressure our society puts on young girls and body image, it is rare for a girl (or woman) of any age to feel comfortable in her body. As she was checking herself out in the mirror, I was debating whether to say something about too-much-skin. If I did, would it make her question her body? would her self-confidence melt? would it give rise to insecurity? I'm lucky that she is still at the age that she values my opinion, wants to please me and actually follows what say. She trusts me. I trust her. I don't want to upset that - the balance betwixt girlhood and between womanhood. Betwixt & between = my tween.

3 comments:

Tomme said...

Lesley, this post brings tears to my eyes. Cherish those days -- they're gone too quickly! You must be a great mom to have imbued your daughter with a comfortable sense of self.

Donna said...

What a beautiful child. Angelic. I think you are so right about the importance of what we say to our children. Equally important is how we say it. Our words are much more shaping than we often realize. You're smart and I'm sure the bikini is perfectly fine even though your first instinct is to throw a bag over her!

Elizabeth said...

Lesley! thank you for sharing this experience with us! I hope that I can remember to be as thoughtful and graceful as you were when this time rolls round for me. my long legged beautiful Becca is ten and already turning heads. Dad is threatening to build a tower and brother is becoming very protective! She is very headstrong and I wish that I had some older sister experience to draw on, but now I will remember how you handled it, just right!!! Bravo and thanks for the tips!!!!!