Thursday, December 20, 2007

Do Not Go Gentle

For those of you that have sent prayers and kind loving words, and yes, well for those of you who have not written but carry us in your thoughts, every kind thought, every whispered prayer helps. I want to let you know that my mother has been in hospice care since Monday. We try to keep her comfortable but that also means she can no longer speak to us. Everyone had the opportunity to say goodbye earlier in the week before she needed constant sedation. My sister and I alternate spending the night. She is never alone. It is sad. It is beautiful. It is emotionlly trying and yet a magnificant learning and loving experience for my children, myself, my sister and Dad.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

29 comments:

Barb said...

It is one of the hardest and most meaningful things you will do in life. Too many people are afraid and miss out on one of the most beautiful connections two people can have. My thoughts are with you.

Kay Bailey said...

Lesley, you touch so many people with your words, art, and spirit. You mother is very lucky to have such a delightful daughter, and I know she knows it. I'm sure I'm one of many who is thinking of and praying for her and you this Christmas. She's beautiful in the Thanksgiving portrait, and I'm so glad she had a good Thanksgiving with the whole family! -Kay Bailey

Megan said...

Lesley

Thoughts and prayers are with you as I sit here with tears in my eyes reading your beautiful, painful words about your Mum. May God comfort you and sustain you and your family in the days ahead.

Megan

Anonymous said...

This Christmas season seems to be one of sorrow. I am helping one of my sixth grades girls learn to live without her mom...who died of cancer early this week. My heart just breaks for this little one. And, I remember all too well, saying goodbye to my own mom. You said it so beautifully, Lesley. It was a time that was both beautiful and sad. I wish you the strength to get through all of this. Paula

Sharon said...

I have walked in you shoes and it was at this same time of the year. I will carry you in my prayers and thoughts.

Judy Merrill-Smith said...

May the light of love illuminate your path in these precious days. May you all feel the comforting presence of God.

Anonymous said...

Having walked this path earlier this year, I know how hard and yet how loving a process this is. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Cheryl

Anonymous said...

Oh. My father died at home with hospice care- mom & hospice took care of him for his final months, and we were all there when he passed away. Once I told someone that being there while my father passed away was as powerful and beautiful as having my babies. It is incredibly hard, and remains so. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
LK

Tracie Lyn Huskamp said...

Oh Lesley... I am so sorry...

I am thinking of you, and keeping your
family in my daily prayers. Your sweet mother could not be in better hands than to be with such a caring, kind angels like yourself and your sister.

I wanted to share a poem with you that has helped me through several difficult days.

"It is faith that bridges the land of breath
to the realms of the souls departed.
That comforts the living in day of death
And strengthens the heavy-hearted.
It is faith in his dreams that keeps a man
Face front to the odds about him,
And he shall conquer who thinks he can.
In spite of the throngs who doubt him.

Each must stand in the court of life
And pass through the hours of trial;
He shall tested be by the rules of strife,
And tried for his self-denial.
Time shall bruise hisi soul with the loss of friends.
And frighten him with disaster,
But he shall find when the anguish ends
That of all things faith is master.

So keep your faith in the God above,
And faith in the righteous truth,
It shall bring you back to the absent love,
And the joys of a vanished youth.
You shall small once more when your tears are dried,
Meet trouble and swiftly rout it,
For faith is the strength of the soul inside,
And lost is a man without it."


Much peace, light, and comfort to you and
your family!!!!!!!

Cindy In Carolina said...

I would hug you tight if I could. The picture of your mom IS beautiful. I am thinking of you.

Sandy said...

Lesley,
just to say I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family. I am praying especially for strength, but also that even though this sad thing is happening at what is usually a happy time of year, that you will continue to be able to treasure the happy times of the past.

Although your mum may not fully realise you and your sister are there, I am sure she appreciates it. I'm sure you think of all the times she sat with you when you were a child and needed her to be close. That love and understanding helped to shape you into the lovely woman you are. And now your mum is still, in her own way, helping to shape you to be even more loving and understanding.

Much love to you,
Sandy Snowden

Anonymous said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how difficult this is for you but this is where you need to be.

maggiegracecreates said...

"Be not afraid" the angels sang.

This is my prayer for you. I have done this vigil for both my husbands grandparents and my Grandmother as well. While incredibly difficult, it was also some of the most reflective and meaningful time I spent. I pray for you all - strength and peace - and comfort - and love. The photo of your mom is beautiful.

Teresa Atkinson

Anonymous said...

i pray for you. i pray for your family. and i pray that your mom quietly slips her hand in Jesus' and he guides her home peacefully.
God Bless.

Loretta said...

My mom and all my sisters and brothers in law were with my Dad when he passed away and we truly felt the joy at his spirit passing on to a peaceful place. The photo of your mom is so lovely and shows her lively, joyous spirit that is waiting to break free. I am sure this is so hard for all of you, your kids and grandkids. Lesley, may the Lord comfort and strengthen your family at this very difficult time.

Julie H said...

Warm thoughts and quiet prayers from Australia.

Michele said...

I am holding your beautiful mother, you and all your family gently in my heart at the painful but illuminating time. I send you strength, faith and empathy.

Anonymous said...

Lesley... please know that you, your mom, and your family are in my thoughts... my prayers. I'm wishing you courage.

Anonymous said...

Many blessing to you...prayers and thoughts of Peace to you and your family. I will light a candle for you and your Mother this morning.

Susan

Jules said...

Lesley: Your words are so meaningful and tender. I am at a similar place with my folks and feel it is quite a sacred journey, one to be relished in a way. You expressed it so well...it is loving, yet very difficult. May God continue to bless you and your family on this journey together.

Mary Ellen said...

It is one more gift a mother can give her child - to share in her transition from this life into the next, just as she helped us through our transition from the old world to this. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

Plain Jane said...

oh dear lesley....my heart goes out to you and your lovely mum. That photo from thanksgiving, so happy and chipper! how fast things change....
I send you hugs and tears and strength.....

Kim said...

Lesley I am praying strength to yoo and your family through this difficult time. My mom died in a hospice 26 years ago, but I was in the Navy and couldn't be there. Hold this time in your heart, and love your mother. She knows it, deep down somewhere she knows it. God bless you both. Kim

Smiley212 said...

Lesley, I have you and your family in my thoughts and prayers... Nadine, the CHA girl.

Wabbit said...

Lesley, I am thinking of you and your family and all you are going through at this time. My mom is 94 and just had an emergency installation of a pacemaker last week. Their frailties just make us oh so much more aware of how precious they are to us. I wish that your mom had the same prognosis as mine does. My heart goes out to you all. While Christmas may not be the merriest this year, you will have the warmth of your love and the knowledge that your many friends are thinking of you. Marilyn in AZ

Blue is my colour said...

Lesley, Having also walked this path this time of year two years ago, my thoughts are with you and your family. Lesley

Mary lin Huskamp said...

Lesley,

You are in my prayers daily! I feel your pain and know that you are feeling so many emotions in these moments that are forever more precious than you had ever dreamed.

Always remember that in these moments you will find a strength you didn't know you had. You will find the times that you want to cry will be the times you will feel the greatest love and remember the memories you have shared with your mom in happier days. Being with her gives her comfort and although she is unable to express her feelings she is proud of you and has great joy in knowing YOU are her daughter and a fabulous grown woman! She had much to do with how you are and for that she feels a joy beyond words. You are her legacy!

My thoughts are with you!

xoxox

Marylin

~*~ Patty said...

Wishes from the heart for you and yours Lesley ~ May the long time sun shine upon you, all Love surround you and the pure light within you guide your way on.

Twisted Sister said...

Lesley
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. I pray for the Lord to give you strength, insight and peace. Thank you for sharing your life with us. It is quite wonderful to read your fond words about your mother - you are truly blessed to have such a wonderful influence in your life.
Jamie Fingal