Wednesday, January 09, 2008

A Quick Note

Just a quick note to share some news. The death certificate arrived and the cause of my mother's death was listed as Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Perhaps it was safer, easier, less riskier for the DR to say so after the fact. A bone marrow biopsy would have given them a definitive diagnosis at the time, but at what physical and emotional cost to my mom? Knowing doesn't change anything. I think we all just have a need to label things so we can define, assess and then file them away in their proper place. Being able to name your fear gives you a sense of control over it.
Live by what you believe so fully that your life blossoms, or else purge the fear-and-guilt producing beliefs from your life. When people believe one thing and do something else, they are inviting misery.

2 comments:

Patricia J. Mosca said...

Lesley...
You have been in my affirmations...and labels are indeed something I have a love/hate relationship with...I have started a new affirmation blog...I think you would like todays post...
http://www.writingaffirmations.blogspot.com
Blessings to you as you heal...
Pattie

Plain Jane said...

Lesley dear, I've just read through all your posts about your dear mom and the medical maze you've endured. As you wrote, it is a subject very few discuss at length, and it is something pretty much all of us must go through--the death of a parent. Maybe in this coming year of yours, in which you plan to stay home more, you could write an article for a magazine about your experience. You do write beautifully.
I didn't mean to add yet another thing to your plate--at 100mph! Thanks so much for sharing your story with all of us. My heart goes out to you.
Briefly, a story from San Diego. Last year, about 5 people I knew died within 2 months, varying in age from 53-76. It got me thinking about dying, and pointed out that many people have given no death directive or statement of preferences to their loved ones, no will, or even no indication of quality of life decisions. So I organized an 'urn' making workshop, where we created clay urns to put our directives in (and eventually our ashes), so our loved ones would know, and of course, to get us starting to prepare for the inevitable.
xoxo
Jane